There’s this thing we do about men in heterosexual relationships. It happens in my church.
In my church, different organizations take turns planning events. When the men’s organization plans an event, people say, “Don’t get your hopes up. They’re just doing their best.” And everyone chuckles. Because, presumably, the men are going to royally botch up the event. Because that’s what men do?
When the women plan the event, people say, “Don’t worry! The women planned the event! The food will be edible and the evening will be lovely.”
And everyone chuckles.
{Housekeeping Is Not Motherhood}
When the men need to go to a meeting, someone says, “Wives, we’re counting on you to please remind your husbands to go to the meeting.”
And everyone chuckles. Because, presumably, men aren’t capable of managing their own lives?
There’s this thing we do about men. It happens on TV.
The scenario is always different, but it ends up like this: A wife will leave the husband in charge of the family, and the husband will destroy everything.
And everyone chuckles.
There’s this thing we do about men. It happens in day-to-day life.
A child shows up to an event with messy hair, and the mom rolls her eyes and says, “Dad was in charge.”
And everyone chuckles.
A mom wants to go out with friends, but she knows her husband won’t get the kids to bed on his own. Or feed his children. Or pay attention to his offspring.
And everyone understands.
Are men total idiots?
Like, can they seriously NOT handle these things?
I’m pretty sure they can.
They can plan an event. Or put hair in a ponytail. They can even bake brownies for the neighbor who just had a baby. They can run a vacuum without being told, and yes — they can even take care of their own kids.
They can even Coronaschool.
They can.
Like seriously, they CAN.
I know some women have partners who just won’t change. I know it. And that’s not even a little bit fair. This post might be painful for you, because you’re in a situation you don’t deserve to be in. And I’m so sorry if my words have caused you pain. You deserve better.
But as a society, if we start expecting that men are NOT complete idiots, if we start holding them to the same standards we’re holding women, maybe — just maybe — we can reduce this problem.
We don’t need to blame women. And we don’t need to blame men. I don’t know why this happens in our society, but it does — and it’s up to all of us to acknowledge it and stop it.
Men are not idiots.
Perhaps we should each take a hard look at the institutions and relationships we’re a part of, and ask ourselves how we can do better.
Hey! Are you on my email list? I send weekly emails with uplifting messages to help you connect with your kids or connect with yourself in ways that will transform your life. I also occasionally share exclusive deals for my courses. I never send spam. Fill in the boxes so you don’t miss out!
