There is a verse in The Book of Mormon that has intrigued me since I first read it as a freshman in high school.
“And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.” (Ether 12:27)
When I was young, I read it and found comfort because it showed me it was okay to have weaknesses; in fact God was telling us that we are specifically given weaknesses for our benefit.
But I felt like saying “no thank you” to the first part of the verse: “If men and women come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.”
I already know some of my weaknesses, and I certainly didn’t want God telling me MORE weaknesses, right?
But as I’ve gotten older, I keep going back to this verse, especially the last part.
“I will make weak things become strong unto them.”
How do weak things become strong?
I really wanted to understand this, and I really wanted it in my life. Wouldn’t it be great if my weaknesses could actually be strengths?
As I examined this idea, I found myself on a liberating path.
Whether you’re into scripture verses or not, I think you’ll like this path too. This is how I’ve turned my weaknesses into strengths.
1. Confront Your Weaknesses
We all know our weaknesses.
We know them hard.
But we hate them, and so we don’t really get acquainted with them. We don’t look at them or examine them. We hide them. Or we acknowledge them when they show up, and then feel ashamed.
Maybe our weakness is that we interrupt people. We don’t mean to do it, but before we know it, out pops some comment that interrupts someone else’s story. We see ourselves doing it, we see the frustration on the other person’s face, and we feel ashamed as soon as it happens (or later that night as we’re trying to fall asleep and start reflecting on our day, amirite?).
Maybe we berate ourselves silently. Maybe we berate ourselves openly. “Oh, I’m such an idiot for interrupting.”
Or maybe we deny we have the problem. Our friend points out our mistake, and we get offended to save face.
But deep down, we know they’re right.
The thing is, berating yourself or denying your weakness is only hurting you (and sometimes others).
It deepens your shame, and you don’t improve.
The first step to making weak things become strong is acknowledging what those weak things are.
If you’re not in the practice of doing this, this might sound horrifying. Who wants to come face to face with (what they perceive as) the ugliest parts of themselves? No, thank you!
But taking some time to examine yourself — warts and all — will help you see yourself more clearly.
Acknowledging you have a weakness is a freeing step. You don’t have to keep feeling ashamed. You don’t have to keep hiding it. Now you can work on it.
The weakness is NOT you. Once you come face to face with it, you can see it as separate from yourself.
This weakness is something you do. It’s something you struggle with. But it isn’t you.
Isn’t that liberating?
2. Flip the Weakness
The next thing to do is to flip that weakness into something good. I wrote about this in a post called How Moms Can Discover Their Strengths.
This is something you can do with almost any weakness you have.
Look at any successful person, and you’ll see that they’ve figured out how to use their weakness as a strength. In fact, maybe it never was a weakness!
For example, Oprah has a big personality. She’s loud. She uses big gestures. She’s in your face. Some people might see this in their child, neighbor, or themselves and think it’s an awful trait. It’s annoying. The person takes up too much space. The person is overshadowing others.
But in Oprah? It’s a strength. She has spent her career brightening lives, bringing people’s stories to life, and entertaining the masses with her big personality.
How about David Neeleman, founder of JetBlue? He has ADHD and struggles with organization and distractedness, evidence of a busy mind. But with his busy mind, he also sees things other people don’t see. “I can distill complicated facts and come up with simple solutions. I can look out on an industry with all kinds of problems and say, ‘How can I do this better?’ My ADHD brain naturally searches for better ways of doing things.”
He was sick of paper tickets, so he let his brain jump to solutions. He invented ticketless travel and transformed our travel experiences forever.
Do you see yourself in any of this?
Are you too loud? Too bossy? Too honest? Do you share uncomfortable truths that people don’t want to hear? Are you too antsy? Too shy? Too impulsive? Too impatient?
Somewhere, someone is choosing to use that thing — that thing you think is a weakness — as their greatest strength.
It’s possible for you to do it too.
You just first have to:
- Embrace your weakness. Don’t feel ashamed. Look it in the eye.
- Flip it. How is it positive? Who is using it as a strength? How can you use it as a strength?
When I discovered this, I felt so relieved.
I thought I was an angry woman who made people uncomfortable. This is because I shared my opinions with a lot of passion. And it led people to fight with me. And we all had negative feelings.
But when I realized this was my strength — my passion, my ability to see injustice and to speak to it — I removed the negative components of the anger but kept the passion. I still argued, but I argued in a way that didn’t hurt others. I argued in a way that stood up for what I believe.
My anger is continuing to evolve into a strength as I use it to passionately care about and argue for the things that are important to me.
Use It As a Strength
The third thing you have to do, after you’ve looked your weakness in the eye and have flipped it to see it as a strength, is to use it as a strength.
Here’s how this looks:
Let’s say your weakness is that you’re shy. People have said they thought you were a snob before they got to know you.
- In step one, you looked this weakness in the eye. Yes, your shyness does prevent you from interacting with people. Look at that. Embrace it. It is what it is.
- In step two, you flipped it. Sure, your shyness keeps you against the wall in social settings, but you notice a lot. You notice other shy people, and see their discomfort. You notice that someone looks sad. You notice someone is walking really tall all of a sudden, and you realize something good has happened in their life.
PLUS, your shyness helps you know yourself really well. You like being in your mind. It’s a comfortable place. Maybe it doesn’t take much to make you happy. - Now, USE that strength.
You noticed another shy person, right? Think of three questions you can ask that person, go sit next to them, and get to know them. If all else fails, point out that you’re shy, and these settings are hard for you. Chances are, the other shy person will feel relief to know they aren’t alone.
You noticed the person who looked sad, right? Send them a letter telling them you’re thinking of them. Drop off a treat on their doorstep, and run before they answer. Send a text asking how their day is going.
You’ve realized you like being on your own, right? Give yourself the freedom to enjoy alone time. Do whatever it is you’ve really wanted to do. Start painting, read a book, organize your pantry, whatever. Use your alone time to enrich your life.
Remember the steps:
- Acknowledge your weakness, and embrace your weakness without shame
- Flip it. How can that weakness be a strength?
- Begin to USE your weakness as a strength
Can you do this? Download this free printable to help you work through this. Uncover your strengths by looking at your weaknesses.
Let me know if you run into any hiccups. I’d love to give you ideas if you’re stuck. Just send an email to connect at rebeccabrownwright.com.