You’re in a predicament. Not only do you have to figure out how to work from home, you have to figure out how to do it with kids underfoot. This is no easy feat, but with some creativity and discipline, you can do it.
You definitely can.
I’ve been working from home for 12 years, and have been through three newborn stages, three toddler stages, and three half-day kindergarten stages. I’ve had stages when some kids are in school all day while others are home. I’ve been through six summers when everyone is home all day.
I’ve learned 12 crucial tips for working from home when you have kids.
Keep in mind that not everything will apply to you. But I’m certain some of it will.
1. If You Have a Partner, Talk
If you have a partner, you both should sit down together and figure out how this is going to work. Even if the bulk of childcare will fall to you because your partner has to keep going into work, you still need to both be on the same page.
Talk about the hours you both need to put into work, the education your children need, the meals that need to be prepared and eaten, the chores that need to get done, the naps that need to be taken, and everything else.
Nobody’s career is more important than the other. Even if one person works part time or is paid less, both careers and both partners’ needs are important.
There is a way to make this work for both of you.
2. If You Have a Partner, This Isn’t All on You
What if your partner still has to go into work, while you’ll be at home all day?
Figure out how to divide responsibilities so that your day can go more smoothly.
If your partner has to go into work, they can still increase their responsibilities in other areas of the home.
Maybe your partner can make everybody’s lunches before leaving for work. Maybe they can do dinner prep. Maybe they can come home on lunch break to give you uninterrupted time. Maybe they can read a book, watch your kids dance, or accompany your kids through chores on FaceTime during the day. Maybe they can handle breakfast while you work.
Everyone has to wiggle around to make this a successful time. Get creative. This is possible!
3. Figure Out What Type of Schedule Makes You Most Productive
I have found that I work best with longer stretches of time. If I only work for a half hour here and 45 minutes there, it takes me too long to get focused each time, and I’m never productive enough. Plus, it feels like I’m working all day long and can never relax.
This just doesn’t work for me.
But some people like bouncing back and forth from task to task.
Figure out which way works best for you, and schedule accordingly.
For me, this means I work for a long stretch early in the morning, and then again for a couple hours when my husband gets home.
4. Look at the Full 24 hours, Not Just 9-5
If you have flexibility with your hours while you work from home, try and work when your kids need you the least.
For me, this means taking advantage of hours when they’re sleeping.
I begin my work day at 6:00 am. My husband doesn’t have to leave for work until 9:00 am, so he manages breakfast, getting ready, and morning chores. And I get three uninterrupted hours of work.
I continue working for a few more hours while the kids manage a schedule (more on that below). And then I work again when my husband gets home.
When I had babies and toddlers, I took advantage of nap time.
Maybe you’re a night owl, and can get a few hours of work done after the kids are in bed.
But don’t stress if you need your sleep. You might have kids that don’t sleep through the night, or waking up early or staying up late might be impossible. It’s okay. I learned a while ago that I can’t work past 7:00 or 8:00 pm. My brain just shuts off.
It’s okay if this is hard.
But looking at the full 24 hours will give you more space to creatively plan your day.
5. Everyone Should Be on a Schedule
Now don’t go rolling your eyes at me if you hate schedules! I personally like to plan things by the half hour or hour, but not everyone can live that way. And that’s okay!
The important thing is that everyone in the house needs to know what to expect each day.
What do you and your kids need to do for kids’ education, mealtimes, chores, and fun? Slot it into your day in a way that works for you.
If planning by the hour is too much for you, maybe you make a list of things that need to get done in the morning, a list of things that need to get done in the afternoon, and a list of things that need to get done in the evening.
Maybe you have certain times that certain things must happen (reading is at 9:00 am every day, naptime is at 1:00 pm, for example), and then a general list of other items.
You know yourself, and you know your kids. Will you all work better if everything is slotted into a specific time, or if there’s freedom on when to do what needs to get done?
When your kids know what’s expected of them, it’s easier for you to step away and get your work done.
Likewise, schedule your own workday. Emails are answered at this time. Work for client A is worked on at that time. Project B is handled at this time.
6. Talk to Your Kids
Be upfront with your kids. Tell them this could be a challenging time for your family, but that everyone can do their part to make it successful. Ask them for their ideas on how to make this time a happy time. How can they help each other? How can they help you? What goals do they want to accomplish during this time? What would their ideal day look like?
You may not take all of their input (especially if their ideal day looks like ice cream and Netflix alllll day), but hear them out and incorporate their ideas when you can. When their input is used, they’re more likely to follow what they said.
7. What Responsibilities Can Your Kids Handle?
When you’re working from home, you need your kids to do some things on their own. This isn’t bad; it teaches responsibility and independence.
Think about your children’s ages and maturity levels, and consider what they can handle on their own.
Give them chores, school assignments, and instrument and sport practice that are on level with their independent abilities.
Get creative.
During the summer when my children were 10, 6, and 3, I paid the older two 50 cents each to babysit their younger brother for a half hour each. This bought me a full hour of uninterrupted work time, and it taught the older kids responsibility while strengthening relationships with their younger brother.
First, I taught them how to babysit and laid out my expectations. I also told them what to do if they ran into a problem. And then I let them come up with their own ways to babysit. They took their jobs seriously, and did great at entertaining their brother.
While one was babysitting, the other was practicing piano and exercising. I knew they would fight if they were both in charge, so this was my solution to help them get their tasks done while caring for their brother.
The next year, I had them do the same thing for 45 minutes each, and bought myself an hour and a half of uninterrupted time.
8. Separate Your Work and Home Responsibilities, as Much as Possible
When working from home, it’s hard to walk past the pile of laundry and ignore it. It’s hard to see crumbs on the kitchen floor and go back to your work without sweeping them up.
It just is. There’s something in the brain that says, “Hey, I’m home. I can handle this. I should handle this.”
But put on blinders. Bouncing back and forth between laundry and invoices is hard. Every time you step away to do a chore, your brain has to reset itself into work-focus-mode when you get back. And it makes you less productive.
Decide when you’ll do chores, and ignore the messes until chore time.
9. Get Dressed
At first, working from home sounds like a great pajama vacation. And I’m sure some people can be productive in their PJs all day, but I have found that showering and dressing sets my brain to work mode. I feel productive before I even start working, and that helps me jump right in.
10. Designate a Space
Ideally, we’d all have lovely, spacious, clutter-free offices with big picture windows, but that’s just not reality for many of us.
Over the years, I’ve worked from a corner in my kitchen, my dining room table, a corner in my bedroom, and an office with a desk. It’s okay if you can’t have your ideal office space, but designate an area of your home that is for your work only.
If you can work in a separate room, that’s always better. It just helps you focus, and communicates to your kids that this is your work time.
Right now, I work in the guest bedroom with a desk. I close the door while my husband is taking care of the kids, and when he leaves, I open the door so I can hear what’s going on.
Having that distance helps the kids realize I’m working, and they try to solve their problems on their own more often before coming to me.
But even if your space is the kitchen table, it’s your office during work hours. If you can create some sort of physical barrier (a folder propped up between you and the rest of the house can work), it communicates to your children that this is work time.
Let everyone know this is your office, and set up rules for when they’re allowed to disturb you. (For example, blood and fires are always reason to disturb Mom; an itchy sock is not.)
11. “Commute” Home
When you work in an office outside your home, you have the commute home to slowly decompress. Even if that commute is a stressful drive through traffic, you’re still leaving the office behind with every mile.
At home, give yourself a chance to decompress by making your own “commute” home. Maybe this means you do some stretches in your office or kitchen. Maybe you use the bathroom for a few minutes. Maybe you take a quick walk outside. Maybe you listen to a meditation app.
Just give yourself time to transition back to family life so you can leave your work behind and be present with your kids.
12. When You’re Done, Be Done
When you’re done for the day, leave your office space. Be with your kids. Let them know that’s what you intend to do, and tell them their cooperation will help you finish sooner (if that’s true).
It’s so tempting to keep checking in and doing “just one more thing” when you work from home. It’s really easy to feel like you’re “on” all day, and this can be exhausting.
Give yourself permission each day to be done when you’re done. Join your family.
You did it!
Bonus tip: You already will have enough distractions with your house and kids. You don’t need any more. Put your phone on mute, close that Facebook tab, and focus on work when you’re at work. Tell your friends and family you won’t return calls or texts during your work hours, and stick to it.
My back-and-forth journal is a great way to connect with your kids when you’re short on time. Answer a prompt, and leave the journal on your child’s pillow. They can then answer the next prompt and leave the journal on your pillow. Get to know each other in deep and meaningful ways, even when your life is pulled in a hundred directions. Grab it here.
Well said. Great advice.