How Moms Can Discover Their Strengths, Part 1 found here
The last time I wrote about how to identify your strengths and talents, we took a strengths-based look at ourselves. And if you haven’t followed through on the work from that blog post, I highly recommend setting aside 10 minute and doing it now. Just click the link above.
First, I want to remind you that you deserve to take time to look closely at yourself and love the heck out of yourself. Don’t be afraid you won’t find anything worth loving. You are already worth loving, simply by existing. Everyone deserves love. And beyond that, you are already full of so much strength and talent and goodness. It’s almost ridiculous how much good there is in you!
A Question to Ask Yourself
Now, this blog post’s question is going to be a teensy bit uncomfortable. But only for a second! If you follow through on the question and the follow-up question, you’re going to be in awe over how these strengths have been sitting in you all this time — and you didn’t even know it.
Here’s the question to help you uncover your strengths:
What Is Your Weakness?
Really, what are your bad qualities? What have you always been reprimanded for? What negative things did people say about you when you were young? What do you chastise yourself about inside your head?
Now don’t go away! This is going to turn so positive in just a few minutes of thinking.
Plus, we’re not going to stay here long, because I don’t want you to get too down on yourself.
But these questions are so important, because the thing that you’re terrible at — it’s actually probably one of your BEST strengths.
Let me walk you through my own example.
I can be really negative. When I read an uplifting article, my focus goes to the one small thing that doesn’t jive with my worldview. When my husband cooks dinner, my eyes immediately go to the mess he didn’t clean up. When I participate in an organization, I immediately sum up all the problems and why it isn’t operating at its best.
I try to keep this to myself, of course, because I know that nobody wants to hear what’s “wrong” with them. But for years, I have beat myself up about my tendency to see problems everywhere. Why can’t my first thought be appreciation, instead of a critical look at the mistakes?
And you know I do this to myself too. Sure, maybe I’m having a good hair day, but my outfit is awful. Yes, maybe I ended a piano piece beautifully, but I really messed up in the middle. Maybe the activity I planned had a great turnout, but I could have been so much more organized.
After years of feeling like I’m a pessimist (even though I really think I’m an optimist) and being criticized when I vocalized some of my feelings, I realized this is only a weakness because I’m treating it that way.
This ability to see the negative? It’s actually a fantastic strength!
I see solutions instantly. When an idea is proposed in a meeting, I can immediately see its holes and fill them. When I write an article, I think about how someone might pick it apart, and I go back and work on it until I can’t see an objection. When something isn’t working with a discipline tactic, I can pretty quickly figure out an alternative. When a child is struggling emotionally, I can figure out why.
The reason I can do this is because my brain is trained to see the worst, which means it’s also trained to FIX the worst.
This is only a weakness if I walk around and point out all the flaws I see. Nobody wants that.
If I treat this as a superpower — kind of like X-ray vision… I can see problems before anyone else can — it works to my advantage.
Plus, I help others when I use it for good.
Now Your Turn
So quickly write down a few things about yourself that you consider to be bad.
Sadly, I know this won’t take you long. If you’re anything like me, the list is always running through your mind.
Think about the things that got you in trouble when you were little. Think about negative things on your report cards. Think about what you and your partner always fight about — and your part in it.
But don’t think too long. We don’t want to feel worse about ourselves!
Now, look at your list, and flip it!
How are those “weaknesses” actually strengths? (Or how can they become strengths if you currently aren’t using them that way?)
Some examples:
- You always got in trouble for talking too much. You consider yourself to be a loudmouth. Not so! You’re friendly, you can make people feel comfortable, or you fill a room with excitement.
- You always got in trouble for daydreaming. You consider yourself to be lazy. Nuh-uh! You have a rich, inner world. You’re comfortable with yourself. You have good ideas.
- You’re messy. You consider yourself to be a slob. Nope! Your priorities are on other things in your life. You don’t easily get overwhelmed by outer chaos. You can keep operating, even when things around you fall apart. Maybe you work well in a crisis.
- You don’t talk to new people. You think you’re shy. Maybe you’ve been called stuck up. No! You take time to get to know people. Meaningful connections are important to you. You might have a small group of friends who have been with you for a long time. You’re loyal.
- You don’t like to do much. You think you’re lazy. No! You’re comfortable with a slower pace. You’re easily content.
- You get angry easily. (This is also me.) You think you’re a jerk. (Yep, I’ve thought this.) Nope! You’re passionate. When something is wrong, you must stand up! You must make things right. You’re an advocate. You have a voice.
Is this getting your mind going? You can always send me an email at connect@rebeccabrownwright.com for help if you’re stuck.
Of course, there are some weaknesses that we really need to fix. Like, if you pick your nose in public, there isn’t really a way to turn that into a positive.
Or, if you get angry easily, like me, you need to be sure you don’t let yourself become unhinged. You need to make sure you use it as a strength whenever you can. If you’re messy, you need to make sure you don’t let it get out of hand. And so on.
But truly, these things you’ve been criticized for — these things you’ve hated yourself for — these are the areas where you’re actually meant to shine!
It’s just that other people and society have pushed you down for them. When you flip them, you’re going to be so amazed at how much strength you truly have! These aren’t weaknesses unless they drag you down. And they don’t have to drag you down when you see them as strengths.
Help your child or partner see the best in themselves with this cute printable. Just leave me your email address in the form below, and the download will be on its way to you. Then print, write what you love about your child or partner, and tape it to their mirror. Or leave it on their pillow. Or sneak it in their lunchbox! Their mood will brighten, your mood will brighten, and everyone will feel better about themselves!
